There’s No Money Back Guarantee With Marriage

If I were going to structure my life off the media, I would never get married.

I mean never. Sure we’ve had Prince Will & Kate all dolled up in their suit and gown covering every magazine. We imagine what it would be like to be in their place.

The flowers drift a pleasant aroma through the air and the church is full of laughter and chatter. People bet how many minutes late the bride will arrive, what cut her dress will be and what colours the bride’s maids will be wearing. The groom stands patiently down the front, waiting for his future wife to be to arrive. The cars pull up. The music begins and the bridal party enters in a rhythmic pace. Cameras flash and red lights emanate from video cameras. Bubbles are blowing and faces are glowing with delight at the sight of the blooming bride. They exchange their vows, slip a ring on each other’s finger and share a passionate kiss.

Everybody loves a good love story, but what if we’ve been sold the wrong idea? These weddings aren’t love stories. They are the symbol of the beginning of a love story, but they are not the stories themselves. The wedding makes for a few cute photos and serves as a decent family reunion, but the real memories, the real plot points in the story are made later on.

Later on when they share a bank account and she splurges on a dress. Later on when he’s out late at work, or better still, at the pub. Later on when they have a mortgage to pay off. Later on when she’s having terrible mood swings. Later on when the newborn baby is screaming through the night and neither of them get any sleep. Later on when the post-natal depression kicks in. Later on when a girl at the office offers him an enticing night out. Later on when she bumps into her high school sweetheart at the supermarket. Later on. Later on. Later on.

As far as the movies these days are concerned, people can’t live happily together anymore. Heck, as far as real-life is concerned. Divorce rate is higher than ever. It’s like people want a money back guarantee with marriage. “If it doesn’t work out how I hoped it might, I want out. I’ll try again. Exchange them for someone else”.

What is up with this? “For better or for worse or til death do us part”. The vows say it pretty darn clear. But life gets hard. Living with others is hard. Loving others is hard.

What happens when we reach the end of our strength? When we just can’t handle any more? When we have not only fallen out of love with our husband or wife, but we have come to despise them? It happens! It will happen! What then? Do we just give up? Or is there hope out there?

The media tells me there is no hope. I watch movies these day only to be left depressed and feeling hopeless about love and about life. It’s not that these films are unrealistic- by no means! They are entirely realistic. This is how life is. People do struggle. Life is hard! Marriage is hard!

The way I see it, life is like a long tightrope. We walk along, delicately. As long as we can see the rope below us and keep our balance, we’re fine. But there are dark stages in life and problems come barreling our way to throw us off balance. When we get to these points, do we turn around and hightail it out of there, or press on and look for the light at the end?

I have to honestly say, if it wasn’t for my parents, I’d neglect any hopes for marriage. My parents will be celebrating their 21st wedding anniversary this year. It hasn’t been easy. They fight every single day, but without them, I would not exist right now. Without their love and support and their team-effort approach to life, I would not be living this life I live.  If they’d have given up when they felt like they wanted to, they would have brought pain to more than just themselves.

So what’s their secret? What gets them through? I don’t think I’ve ever met such opposite people and yet it works. How? I works because they put God first, the other second and themselves last. They sit at the breakfast table every day battling the sound of the dishwasher, the hairdryer and kids looking for their lost school shoe. They sit there and read the Bible together and pray. This way, they don’t grow apart. They focus their lives in the same direction, toward God.

Therefore, if I have any hope of  entering into a lasting marriage, it won’t matter how good looking they are. It won’t matter what sort of job they have or how much money they earn. It won’t matter how desperately they want to have a family and make it work. In our own strength, it is impossible. They have to be willing to see that at the end of us, that’s where God steps in.

When we come to the dark patches in life, holding someone’s hand as we walk along the tightrope will make it so much easier. Having a whisper in your ear, “I know it’s hard, but the light is coming. Let’s trust God with this one. Hold on. I’m not going to let you go”.

“Love is not an affectionate feeling but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained” – C.S.Lewis

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” -Matthew 19:6

A White Wedding

This evening I stumbled across the beautiful story behind a photo that went viral on the internet of a couple praying together before their wedding. It’s inspiring because it shows what a relationship can be like with God at the centre. She depicts the struggle of the wait but reassures us that it is worth it. It makes me see that ‘Prince Charming’ is worth waiting for. Divorce rates today tell us that not many people are cut out to spend the rest of their lives devoted to one other person. That’s why we should never fool ourselves into settling for anything less. If the person you are in love with is not drawing you closer to God now, they surely won’t be when you need them to as things get rough later down the track.

I have copied the love story here for you to have a read. Enjoy :)

The Story Behind the Photo

Moments before I was to walk down the aisle my soon to be mother in law came in the dressing room where my bridesmaids and I were all gushing with giggles and fluttering about finishing last minute details.

“Sweetheart, your groom has called for you!”.

In a nervous tizzy I said, “What?! I’m not ready! I have to get my shoes and…” She had already taken my hand and led me to a corner, where my groom was waiting. I barely sat down; I was filled with so much anticipation! So much excitement! So many nerves!

“Is he going to like my dress? Does my hair look pretty? Can he see me?!”

Right around the corner sat my soon to be husband, I so was nervous he might see me yet secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of him. In my excited state I was the first to speak,

“Hi sweetie! We’re getting married today!”

“I know baby and I want to pray with you before we do.”

There we sat around the corner hand in hand, and together we bowed our heads. People were rushing about; the wedding coordinator directing people here and there, the photographers snapping photos and the bridal party enjoying each others company. Yet in that moment, in the quietness of our hearts and minds, my husband and I were alone in the presence of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

My husband prayed that God would bless our marriage, that through thick or thin together we would never lose hope in one another. That instead of focusing on each others imperfections we would always rely on Christ’s perfection. That we would wake up every day and chose to love one another not through our own strength but by the power of Christ’s perfect love.

With our hands clenched tightly to one another together we said “Amen”, both with shaky voice and just like that I was whisked away to blot the tears off my face and put on my veil.

After my bridesmaids, mother, mother-in-law and every other girl in the room had finished zipping, curling, tucking and blushing me up I looked in the mirror. There I stood wearing my pure white wedding dress, ready to walk down the aisle to my Prince Charming.

See, he is not only my Prince Charming because of his incredibly handsome looks, or wonderful humor, or the fact that we have so much in common. He is my Prince Charming because he helped me protect the most precious gift that I owned, my purity.

Soon after we had started dating I nervously told my Prince that I was a virgin and planned to be until the night of my wedding; to which he replied he would have it no other way.

Throughout our dating relationship and engagement we constantly fought, what at times felt like a losing battle. We fought temptation with prayer, scripture and accountability. I had friends checking up on me if they knew we were together late at night and he regularly met with other Godly men to pray for strength. At times, especially as the wedding grew closer, we thought we were attempting to do the impossible.

“Why are we doing this?” I would ask in my weakness, and he would remind me, that it’s because God had told us too.

“I can’t do it, I can’t… this is too hard!” he would confess to me and I would pray for his strength.

When I walked down the aisle in my white dress, I looked straight into the eyes of the man that had laid himself down to protect and honor the wife that God had given him.

When his eyes first caught mine he looked into the face of the woman that had waited for him, the woman that would support him and love him for the rest of His life, through good times and bad.

I share all of this because in that prayer we prayed, which was captured here on camera we asked the Lord to use our wedding to bring Him all of the glory that He rightfully deserved. We had not gotten where we were by our own strength, but by His hand of protection on our relationship.

God has used this photo to inspire hundreds of thousands of people already and for that we are humbled and honored! I wanted to take it a step further and give God praise and thanks for how we arrived at that quiet corner, holding hands and ready to begin our lives together.

(Original post can be found below)

http://thepowerofprayer.tumblr.com/post/40525128644/powerofprayer#notes